I Never Thought...

It's past midnight and I should be asleep, but I really feel like getting this out there.
I never thought I'd be comfortable with food again.  A few months ago when I was heading to treatment for the umpteenth time I had a panic attack on the plane because I was so afraid I would be anorexic or bulimic for the rest of my life.  But honestly, where I am now, is SO different than any of my pseudo-recovery attempts.  I'm not lying about how I feel about food.  When it scares me I say something, when it doesn't I rejoice in that.  I also don't feel the need to create the unneccesary drama about food that I used to.  I used to just create drama about food when I wasn't even feeling negative about it because I felt like I had to stick to that "eating disorder label."  The honesty has helped me alot!  Its honestly made such a difference.
I just never thought I'd feel this comfortable and okay around food.  I follow a meal plan, and I'm perfectly comfortable with it.  I eat desserts 2-3 times a week. 
It still gets challenging sometimes, but for the most part, I am just so grateful that I am this okay around food, and okay with being okay with it!